


i don't blame you for being you

by etselec



Series: emo vegetarian vampire pete [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Happy, Humor, M/M, angsty for like 2 seconds, mikey asks a lot of questions, pete is an emo vegetarian vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 00:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3874957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etselec/pseuds/etselec
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sorry, it’s just—you’re a fucking <i>vampire.</i>”</p>
<p>“You’re <i>fucking</i> a vampire,” Pete said, ignoring Mikey’s amused expression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't blame you for being you

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is irrelevant but isnt it cool how this is 2015 words and it's 2015 ????? ni ce

Pete had been thinking about it for a while. It’s not like he was _never_ going to tell him.

It’s just that they’d been together a for a few weeks and Pete thinks he could potentially fall in _love_ with the guy—which only happened like once every _decade_.

Like, come on—it’s a pretty big deal to tell your boyfriend that you’re a 70 year old vampire.

He pulled his hoodie over his head and jumped off the steps of the campus building and to Mikey Way, his beautiful brunette boyfriend.

“Mikeyway!” Pete shouted, hopping from the last step to the ground.

Mikey smiled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend in a hug. “Hi,” he whispered.

Pete stood on his tip-toes to press a kiss to the side of Mikey’s mouth. “How was class?”

“Boring,” Mikey mumbled, taking Pete’s hand in his.

Mikey was in his last year of college and Pete couldn’t be more excited. After college was over, Mikey had said he would get a small apartment in New York City and apply for a job at his favorite restaurant—he was a culinary major.

They walked across the street to Mikey’s one-room apartment. “How come we never do anything during the day?” Mikey asked, causing Pete to choke on air.

“Uh, no reason. I like the night,” Pete stared at the ground as Mikey unlocked the door to his apartment.

“Well, because I always ask you if you want to meet up for lunch and you always refuse,” Mikey explained, wrinkling his nose. He kicked off his shoes and crashed down on to the couch and switched on the TV. “I mean, it’s fine. You’re not, like, cheating on me or anything, right?”

Pete didn’t say anything. The laughing track on TV was the only sound in the room.

“Right?” Mikey repeated quietly, turning the volume down. “Pete?”

Pete yanked his hood down from his head and blinked down at the ground. “How could you think that—that I was cheating on you?”

“Dunno,” Mikey slumped down into the cushions of his couch and played with the drawstrings of his sweatshirt, “like I said, we never do anything during the day.”

“Oh my _God_ , I am _not_ cheating on you, Mikey!” Just thought of Pete being unfaithful to Mikey made him sick to his stomach.

The way Mikey gave him a look—just a _look_ —made Pete's heart sink; Pete knew that Mikey didn't really seem to believe him. Oh God, he really thought Pete was cheating on him. Pete felt his eyes start to burn just thinking about it.

“Pete, why don’t we ever do anything during the day?” Mikey asked again, arms folded against his chest. “I want you to tell me the truth.”

Pete felt his throat close up. “I _can’t_ Mikey—”

“That’s it, I’m fucking done, get out of my apartment,” Mikey jolted up from the couch and pointed to the door, his face dark. His eyes glazed over Pete. “I’m sick of you lying to me.”

“Mikey, please,” Pete took a step forward and put his hands up, “I’m not cheating on you, I just can’t—”

“You can’t what?” Mikey interrupted, raising his voice. Mikey never raised his voice. “If you’re not cheating on me, then why can’t I see you in the mornings?”

“Mikey—”

“Why can’t I take you to my favorite breakfast place? Why can’t we hold hands and go record shopping in the afternoon? Why can’t we go to the beach and make out in the sun?”

Pete almost cringed at the word _sun._ He can’t, he _can’t,_ and the sun’s why. He hated being a vampire. He _hated_ it. Pete wanted to eat breakfast with Mikey. He wanted to hold hands and go record shopping, he wanted to go to the beach and kiss him in the sunlight. He wanted to do so many things but he _couldn’t._

Pete felt tears well up in his eyes. He pulled his sleeve over his hand and wiped his face, trying to hide himself. It didn’t work.

“You’re crying,” Mikey stated, his voice small, “are—”

“I’m not,” Pete mumbled through choked tears, “I’m not okay and I’m never going to be. I like you so _so_ much and I want to be able to do those things with you so _bad,_ but I _can’t,_ Mikey, and you won’t understand if I told you. Don’t protest, because you _won’t_. You’ll laugh in my face or never want to talk to me again. It’s better this way, believe it or not.”

“Pete, just tell me,” Mikey urged. “I’m not going to laugh at you.”

“Liar,” Pete stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets.

Mikey took a dare and stepped forward, placing a hand on Pete’s face, tilting his head up so he could look him in the eye. He saw that Pete’s eyes were red and watery and his heart sank. “Pete, it’s not better this way if you’re not being completely honest with me.”

Pete sighed. It was time—he would never win this argument; it would end in heartbreak if they kept fighting. Mikey had to know, Pete really cared about him. Pete had only told five people in his life that he was a vampire. One of them was a his ex-best friend Patrick, who he never talks to anymore because he found out the hard way—Patrick was a vampire hunter. They had seen each other one night and Patrick was just as surprised and betrayed as him.

“Okay, fine, Mikey,” Pete said, gathering everything together to try and not have his voice crack. “I’m a vampire.”

Mikey stared at him, confused. “Stop joking around. It’s okay, Pete, you can tell me.”

“I’m not joking,” Pete said. He backed away from Mikey. “Want me to prove it to you?”

“You’re serious?” Mikey raised an eyebrow.

“You got, like, a rosary or something?” Pete asked, gesturing around the apartment.

Mikey gaped at him. “Oh my God, you’re not joking, .”

“Do you have a rosary?”

“Check the drawer in the kitchen,” Mikey’s eyes followed Pete as he rummaged through the drawer and finally picked out the rosary, delicately holding it by it’s beads. Mikey wasn’t religious, but he found that rosary in a box when he first moved in and had no where to put it, so in the drawer it went. Pete dropped the rosary in Mikey’s hands and held his own hand out.

“Here, press it into my hand,” Pete ordered.

Mikey closed his hand over the rosary. “If… you really are a vampire, doesn’t that mean this’ll burn your skin?”

“It stings for a couple seconds, I’ll be fine,” Pete assured, shaking his hand for emphasis.

Mikey swallowed and slowly uncoiled his hand from around the rosary and pressed the cross into Pete’s palm, to which he at first yelped at, but eventually bit his lip to stop himself from yelling out. The cross made a sizzling noise and Mikey pulled the the rosary away from Pete’s hand a few seconds later.

He looked down and saw a red cross-shaped mark on Pete’s palm. He gasped. “Your skin’s _red_ —you’re _really_ a vampire.”

“Yeah, duh,” Pete sighed, rubbing his hand, “the things I do for you, Mikey.”

Mikey scowled at him. “You said you would be fine.”

“I know, it still hurts like a bitch,” Pete replied.

Mikey was still staring at him. “You’re a vampire, that’s so _cool.”_

Pete furrowed his eyebrows together. “You’re not… scared?”

“No, dude, that’s fucking _awesome_.”

“Awesome?” Pete couldn’t help but grin.

“Wait, but how do you get blood?” Mikey’s face drained of color. “Do you kill people? Drink their blood?”

Pete shook his head. “Oh, dude, gross, blood is _gross._ ”

“Then how—”

“I’m a vegetarian,” Pete shrugged, “I suck the color out of red fruits and vegetables. Like apples and tomatoes. You know how I work the night shift at Whole Foods on Tuesdays?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, after my shift, I take the reject apples and tomatoes.”

Mikey stared at him in awe.

“That’s not the only thing I eat! You know my favorite food is pizza,” Pete scowled at him.

Mikey sat back down on the couch. “Vegetarian vampires exist?”

“Duh, I’m living proof,” Pete considered his statement, “okay undead proof.”

Mikey realized, yeah, Pete wasn’t even human. He was a _vampire_ —a creature of the night and all that. “How did it happen? When did it happen?”

“You’re overwhelming me, babe,” Pete rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, it’s just—you’re a fucking _vampire_.”

“You’re _fucking_ a vampire,” Pete said, ignoring Mikey’s amused expression. He continued to speak, “anyways, don’t get freaked out but I was born in 1945.”

Mikey’s eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped open. “I’m fucking a _70_ year old vampire.”

“Hey! Don’t think of it like that. Technically you’re fucking someone who’ll be 20 forever,” Pete jumped up to put his arms around Mikey’s shoulders. “Also, it could’ve been worse. I could’ve been born in, like, the 1500s.”

Mikey turned his body to face Pete. “So you were turned when you were 20? Who did it?”

Pete sighed, running a hand over his hair. “Oh, I don’t know—it was some hippie chick. It was like, the late sixties, right? So I was totally in that hippie scene and I was at some club with this chick with flowy blonde hair all the way down to her ass. And I was an asshole back then so of course, I thought she was super hot. She eventually started dancing with me and we had a few drinks and suddenly, she took me behind an alley and bit me.”

Mikey felt a little jealous of this sixties chick. “You… remember that even though it was like 50 years ago?”

“Of course, it had a major impact on my life,” Pete said.

“Have you told anyone that you’re a vampire?”

“A few.”

“Like who?”

“Dunno. But one of them turned out to be a vampire hunter.”

Mikey grinned. “So Buffys exist?”

Pete rolled his eyes. “If that’s what you want to think, then yes, there are vampire slayers out there.”

“So, like, since we’re talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you didn’t, like, lose your soul like Angel when we first had sex, right?”

“What the hell?”

“You know, remember when Angel—”

“Of fucking course I remember when Angel lost his soul. You were shitting your diapers when Buffy came out,” Pete interjected, folding his arms.

“So you still have a soul?” Mikey asked.

“If I didn’t, you’d be dead,” Pete replied, seriously.

Mikey nodded, his mouth making an “O” shape.

“Can we stop talking about the vampire thing now?” Pete asked, yanking on the fabric of his hoodie.

“One more thing?” Mikey asked, grinning sheepishly.

“Fine. Shoot.”

“Can I see you fangs?”

Pete blinked at him. “Okay, sure.” He opened his mouth and bared his fangs, making a hissing noise. “You done?”

“Dude, that’s so hot.”

“Ewww do you have a vampire fetish?” Pete pulled his knees up to his chest and scooted to the other side of  couch.

“I don’t, I _don’t_ , Pete, come here,” Mikey motioned towards himself, “I just find it kind of badass that you’ve actually fought people and stuff—right?”

“Yeah, vampire hunters.”

“You ever killed anyone?”

“Nope,” Pete shook his head. “There are only like, two vampire hunters in all of Jersey, dude. And one of them is in a nursing home. Vampire are rare as hell.”

“Is the other hunter that guy you knew?”

“Yes,” Pete answered. He then frowned at him. “I thought you were done asking questions.”

“Okay, okay, I’m done, I swear,” Mikey put his hands up in surrender, “now can you come over here and cuddle me?”

Pete exhaled slowly before crawling next to Mikey and wrapping his arm around his shoulders. He kissed the side of his face. Mikey laid his head on Pete’s shoulder.

“No wonder our sex has been so good,” Mikey mumbled sleepily.

Pete stared at him.

“Vampires have, like, fast reflexes, right?”

“Oh my God.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was rlly fun writing. 
> 
> ((im starting on my killjoys petekey sequel rn))


End file.
